whatever happened to jean
Hi, how have you been? Today, I'm excited to welcome you back to the new and improved blog and finally share where I've been and what I'm currently up to. It's been around six months since I last opened up like this online, and I'm ready to spill it all and answer some questions about life, work, future plans and this new era.
I've really missed the deep conversations and keeping you updated with all the little things (I tried doing it on Instagram, but let's just say it didn't quite work out). I’ll get into the why of my long break later, but for now, I want you to know that I'm sharing this from a place of having moved on. It took me some time to collect my thoughts and experiences in a way that wasn't overly influenced by my sensitive nature.
Anyway, enough with the cryptic talk. It's time for a storytime.
Fleeing Montreal
I will go into more detail about the specific reasons that made me leave in a future post, but to briefly summarize, I fled from Montreal. Or at least that’s how it felt to me at the time, last December. Even up to this day, it's hard for me to fully digest the reality of what I was experiencing in Canada. So far, I have only shared the full picture with my close friends and family.
In short; after struggling for a long time trying to decide whether I should leave or not, I finally followed my intuition and took the step to quit my job, leave my flat, and move on from my unstable life. Above all, however, I decided to break free from the uncertainty and lack of freedom that came with it. I know it might seem radical, but it’ll all make sense at some point.
I made the decision to leave in early December and was out within two weeks. It's an understatement to say that it took a titanic amount of physical and mental energy. I had to erase my entire existence from the city and push the reset button like never before, starting with a flat full of furniture. Thankfully, I managed to leave my job earlier so I had a couple of days to take care of all the admin before hopping on a flight to Europe just in time for Christmas.
Stranded on an Island
My big and elaborate plan was to move back home temporarily to "figure things out" (I know, so original).
For context, I'm not the type of person who just jumps off a cliff without knowing where I'll land. This, nevertheless, was one of those rare instances where I just had to do it. Have you ever been so close to your limit that you just want everything to stop? Well, that was me. I was desperate.
"Home," for those of you who may not know, is specifically an island in the Atlantic Ocean called Gran Canaria. I know I'm being dramatic because it's just another part of Spain, but I find myself wanting to make it seem more exotic than it actually is.
Initially, I planned to stay on the island for a couple of months while I figured out my next move. Yet, the reality is that six months later, I'm still here. Whatever plan I had for the future didn't feel good or exciting enough, and given the current state of things, taking a well-deserved rest and reflecting on my feelings seemed like the best course of action.
Life on the island is not particularly exciting. Opportunities and freedom are not as abundant, still, it's good for now. Even though I miss London terribly, part of me knows that growth for me right now means staying put and not fighting for my life in a big city.
The truth is, I'd been living by myself in other countries ever since I turned 18, and I never took the time to assess the trajectory of my life until five years later. It seems like a good time to conduct an audit and do some mental housekeeping, doesn't it?
Entering my flop era?
When I did the big move-out, I automatically assumed I was entering my flop era. I had a job, a nice and comfortale apartment, and what could be considered an acceptable (even though it wasn't) amount of stability. Ironically, the tables have turned, and I now see that I was actually exiting my flop era.
Time has made me realize that I was living in a situation that was so misaligned with who I am, that I'm not surprised I felt such levels of distress. At the time, I couldn't pinpoint it because I assumed that's how hard life was supposed to be.
Before you jump to conclusions, no, I haven't turned into a crypto bro, and I'm not here to tell you how to "escape the matrix" via a masterclass. Instead, I want you to take this as a sign to take a step back and radically assess your life. If you feel like you've reached a point where nothing feels exciting anymore, do it. You won't regret it. It's better to do it sooner rather than ten years down the line.
Often in life, we can only find meaning in things when we look back in hindsight. The places in-between are scary for sure, but it's a different kind of scary. It's the "I don't know what I'm doing, but at least I'm taking agency over my life" kind of scary. And thanks to that and the healing powers of time, I've been able to find some peace even amidst the apparent chaos.
What now?
These past months have been extremely insightful and therefore productive. I’ve been journaling, meditating, discovering, learning, and hydrating a lot. Most importantly, I've been scheming in the dark about what my next move should be and I now have a somewhat exciting plan for 2024.
Although some details need to be figured out and dominoes need to fall into place, the once-missing sense of purpose is now back. By allowing myself a realistic one-year timeframe, I have started upleveling some areas of my life that were getting slightly decadent, such as my health and finances.
I will be sharing some parts of my journey in future posts, such as quitting a new job in a record time or how to navigate not knowing what to do with your life. The insights I have reaped from these experiences are too juicy to keep to myself.
One thing is certain, I want to bring the joy of making and sharing content back into my life, either in the form of blogs or videos. There's been this inner conflict about how initially uncomfortable it is to share what's on my mind on the internet -about how vulnerable it makes me feel- but the positive impact cannot be ignored.
This Website
All of these efforts have led us here, to the new and improved website. After the first version was released last year, I quickly became aware of all its shortcomings and I knew that for this new season, I needed to step up my game.
The whole idea behind this new portal was to bring everything together and create a main hub to house all of my content. Everything is new and has been perfected to the best of my abilities to reduce friction. Although there are still some new updates in the works, I believe it now more accurately represents who I am and my brand, so I’m delighted to finally share it with the world.
It was an exercise in knowing when to consider it good enough for launch. I also want to take a moment to thank everyone who kindly tested the website and provided their time and feedback. These individuals filled out a lengthy form and shared their valuable insights to help make it the best it could be. You’re all my heroes.
What to Expect
Similar to my previous blog, I will be posting one post per week covering various topics that roughly fit into one of the following categories:
Mindset: posts introducing new ideas, useful concepts, and ways of thinking.
Skills: deep dive and how-to posts to uplevel your toolbox.
Self-care: posts on how to take care of yourself, be zen and look hot.
Journal: posts where I share some personal experiences and spill some tea.
This time around, I’ve decided to take a different approach and focus on what’s called “creative living”. I’ve made it my mission to candidly unravel and address the challenges that come up when living a life full of curiosity and desire for growth and stimulation. It’s a fancy way of saying I wanted to make content for people like me who value vulnerability and introspection. This is not exclusively for artists, but for anyone interested in exploring themselves creatively.
For extra content, you can now sign up as for my mailing list as well, and get my monthly newsletter at the end of each month (along with an occasional update) straight into your inbox. I keep it minimal, I promise.
The Store
In addition to my website, today I am also launching my online store. It’s taken me a long while to work out the initial offerings and all the specifics, so I am glad it is finally ready. There has been a lot of effort and attention put into making it as comprehensive and user-friendly as possible.
Originally, opening an online store wasn't part of my plan, but after receiving many comments from people complimenting my editing skills, I realized the potential of creating a service to help others in their content creation journey. I’m fully aware of the challenges that come with it, it requires a lot of resources and not-so-obvious knowledge of storytelling and visual language.
Having said that, if you could help spread the word, I would greatly appreciate it. I invite you to explore my offerings and take advantage of the special launch sale. Additionally, for a limited time, you can receive an extra 20% off if you leave a review.
Thank You
As a final word for this post, I want to express my gratitude to everyone who is reading this and for all the support you have provided. Thank you for your patience, too.
I'd like to think that I would share things regardless of whether anyone reads them, but hearing back from you certainly encourages me to keep going and improve myself.
So, in this new chapter, I invite you once again to join me on this journey. I'm genuinely happy to be here.
See you next week,
Jean